Ive made such a mistake ... I want my x girlfrend back?

i left my girlfrend 8 weeks ago . things were not going well . arguments . nothing that could be sorted. we had been living together 6 mouths and had been together 2 years. i got scared . then this other women started texing me. we were flurting so i got it in to my head i was leaving becouse if i loved her i would not tex this women. i left and started to hang out with this other women. My God one minit im in a loving stable relationship the next iv'e left my girle my home are cats . It was so insane. after six weeks i saw the truth i did not want to be with this women . NO WAY. so i left i got me self a flat and its been that way sines. Now mean time my x girlfrend started to date another guy . when i found out Blam it killed me . Wow how selfish of me how could i juge her what right have i got to feel that way .yet thats how it felt. i would be writing all day to tell you the whole story . but this is how it is right now. Last week we met so i could make amends for what i did i sat there and she told me of the hart ake and humiliastion she felt she was crying the whole time she told me she woul of marrid me had my children. :( its all so sad. we are now frends and she was there for me last week when i lost a frend. she tells me im her soal mate we will be frends forever but she just cant trust me . i think she has left the guy she is dating and she texing me every day . But she is clear we are not getting back together. I wish i could spell better and share the whole story with you but there it is . My HART IS BROKEN AND NOBODY TO BLAME BUT ME >